Me and the Gold Cup Final

For those of you who don’t know, I’m a big soccer fan/nerd.
For those of you who don’t know, last Sunday was the CONCACAF Gold Cup Final between the US and Mexico. (Yes, it’s taken me a week to get over it.)

Anyway, rather than just sit down and watch the game, I decided to livetweet from my couch.
I thought that it would be fun to offer live commentary on the internets while the US team pummeled Mexico into the ground. Unfortunately, this was not the case. If you look carefully, you might just be able to spot my collapse into the depths of despair. (yeah!)

And the game begins…
3′: What’s with the soft touches Freddy? #goldcupfinal #USMNT
Freddy Adu (Yes, that Freddy Adu) Continue reading “Me and the Gold Cup Final”

To take me down a peg.

I haven’t hinted at it before, but I’m quite the soccer nerd. Not that good of a player, but I know stats and scores like the best of them.

Anyway, I noticed that in 4 year’s time, I’ve become a fairly capable player. Technically sound, comfortable on the ball, confident enough to finish a play. In light of my apparent improvement, I decided to reward myself with a new pair of cleats.

Cheap and classy... just like me!

Unfortunately, I now feel inadequate from watching this video.

The future Albicelestor in the video is Benjamín Agüero, son of Atlético Madrid striker Sergio Agüero. He also happens to be football legend Diego Maradona’s grandson — talent seems to be hereditary.

So no matter how much I practice, I’ll never be better than this little boy. Did I mention that he’s turning 2 years old in February? Learn to use your other foot, little man, then you’ll one-up your grandpa.

Revamp our video games. Part 2

Last time, I went over some suggestions on video games for some of America’s biggest pastimes: Baseball, Basketball, and making fat people Football. This time around, I’m offering some ideas for video games for sports that aren’t as popular in America as the Big Three. I think we need to tap these markets if America wants to undeniably dominate sports video gaming.

Soccer is a sport of passion, and to emulate the many emotions of the beautiful game, in-game players will portray the exact mannerisms of their real-life likenesses. From the sluggish roundness of Wayne Rooney to the immature foul mouth of Nicolas Anelka, gamers will finally get to experience their favorite players first hand (and become extremely annoyed shortly after.) Plus, the latest developments in graphics technology now allow players a fuller visual experience of greasy douchebags like Cristiano Ronaldo and… the entire Italian national team. Continue reading “Revamp our video games. Part 2”