Tag: news

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Okay, now it’s 100% Annoying


Okay, I mentioned this before, but The Huffington Post kind of irks me for putting up stupid things on its front page when trying to look like a legitimate media outlet. I thought seeing a headline about LeBron James’ ex-girlfriend hovering over one about our Congress was the worst it would every get. Seriously, HuffPo — what the hell is this?! ——>

Is this what you do when you’re not paying the people that generate your content. First off, if guys wanted to look an pictures of naked ladies, they’d go to a porn website. There’s really no need to beat around the bush (no pun intended, I’m fuckin’ serious). Second, “How To Have An Affair (And Stay Married)”? If your gonna dish out irresponsible advice, why not put up an article about how crystal meth will help people finish that novel they’ve been working on for 8 years?! And the article’s not even helping people cheat! It’s just some writer hocking her relationship blog.

HuffPo, you’ve really dropped the ball lately. I’d be more disappointed, but I’m a comedian. It’s things like you that keep me creatively employed. But honestly, you’re being awful. Stop it.

Oh, by the way, I heard the editor of your Comedy section was looking for interns. I sent her an email. Do you know if she read it?

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99% Annoying

I found myself on The Huffington Post front page and happened across this little gem. I was also bored, so I took a screenshot to show all of you.
I’m also bored now, so I’ll tell you everything that’s wrong with this.

Web journalism at it's finest.

1. I get it HuffPo (we’re on a nickname basis), you hate the 1% a lot for an organization that got $315 million from AOL, and whose contributors mostly work for free. But if you want readers to hate the super rich, don’t post up a headline about a billionaire making a charitable donation.
2. If you want to post a picture of a rich person stealing money, make sure it’s actually a rich person! How many rich people wearing white gloves and vests have you seen lately? I’m pretty sure that’s a butler slipping away a Benjamin. I’m actually cool with that— I’m imagining it’s Geoffrey from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
3. Are these people unemployed? Where are they standing in line? Are they handing out jobs at the airport or something?
4. The Careers section of the Huffington Post isn’t the classifieds. It’s got a bunch of news stories about the job market. You know, the one that’s in the tank? Now, I’m no expert in economics or labor, but I’m pretty sure unemployed people don’t want to read about how impossible it is to get a job.

Believe it or not, I actually like The Huffington Post, but it’s gotten really annoying over the past few years. And I don’t know what’s worse, seeing a story about LeBron James’ ex-girlfriend on the front page, or reading the comments left by the snotty-self-indulgent-unfunny-Stewart-Maher-wannabes that spend too much time on one website.*

*Unlike the lovely folks over at WordPress.

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Olbermann & O’Reilly: Secret Lovers

After much speculation, Keith Olbermann and Bill O’Reilly have finally revealed that they are madly in love and are ready to begin an open and public relationship. The couple made their announcement outside of O’Reilly’s home in Manhasset, New York, to a swarm of anxious reporters. Recent photographs have shown both men entering each other’s houses, often staying for extended periods of time. The news of this relationship originally came as a shock to the news media community, as Olbermann and O’Reilly appeared to be mortal enemies. However, Olbermann revealed that they each secretly harbored romantic feelings for the other. “He called me a pinhead; I called him the ‘Worst Person in the World.’ But both of us were just playing hard-to-get.”
Continue reading “Olbermann & O’Reilly: Secret Lovers”

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Oh no! Yale kids can’t party!

“Raids on bars are not unusual these days in New Haven, where huge crowds in a cluster of downtown nightspots have lately turned rowdy. But the sweep last weekend has reverberated far beyond Elevate, a second-floor club on Crown Street, angering students and perplexing administrators in the Gothic halls on campus….
Yale deans have urged students to write up accounts of the police action, and sent mental-health counselors to the two residences, Ezra Stiles College and Morse College, that organized the event. On Thursday, a group of students plans to walk to police headquarters with their formal complaints….
The statement said police officers had been trying to “defuse the chaotic situation” in Elevate, which was 58 percent over its legal occupancy — an “egregious violation.” Four students were arrested, and one was cited for under-age drinking.” (-The New York Times 10/8/10)

This is outrageous. Absolutely outrageous. These low-income students were just trying to have fun in their podunk little town of New Haven, Connecticut. Life dealt them a bad hand, they were just trying to make the best of their hopeless surroundings. Growing up in the tough streets of New Haven means that you’ll spend the rest of your life there. You can have big dreams of going to the big cities, but you know you’ll just be stuck in New Haven going to crappy Yale University.
Continue reading “Oh no! Yale kids can’t party!”