America 1, Canada 0

It’s official. The United States of America has officially struck a blow against our dreaded neighbor of the North. We’ve finally taken a stand after Canada has invaded our land and reaped innumerable success. Mike Meyers, Michael J. Fox, William Shatner, Steve Nash… But no more! While it is only a water bottle hurled at singing hairball Justin Bieber, I think we’ve made serious progress. Now all we need is a publicly-funded Aqua Projectile Defense Force. Get on that, President Obama!