I’m officially one of the Colbert Nation Heroe$

I normally watch new episodes of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report when they air, but I missed two weeks since I was on vacation. As it turns out, on the August 16th episode of Colbert, I was given the greatest civilian honor of my life.

I'm on-screen with one of my heroes... and the President too.

All it took was to donate $5 to a shady political action committee. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

P.S. I just noticed that this is the first time my actual name has gone up on the blog. What a way to go!

Give this little girl a medal.

I make an effort to keep track of the news. Apparently, Egypt is almost on fire. Now, I could make a long diatribe justifying the protesters in the streets of Cairo, or maybe I could draw parallels between Egypt and Iran (or even the 13 Colonies). But I’m not going to do that. I can’t. This story’s been on every major news outlet, and every pundit, journalist, blogger, and activist has given their two-cents.

But I yield the floor, now and forever on all Middle East politics, to Juju.

Take a bow little lady, we salute you.

LBJ orders pants. (Seriously)

Put This On: LBJ Buys Pants from Put This On on Vimeo.

Yes, that was Lyndon Baines Johnson, the 36th President of the United States of America. That was LBJ ordering pants and talking about his “nuts” and his “bunghole.” (That’s good ol’ Southern charm for you!)

Why doesn’t FOX News bring this up? At least it’s a little bit implicating. But no, the only person who ever tarnished the dignity of the office was this guy:

Driving the lane... to national destruction.

Republican Party: “Now what?”

This past election day, the Republican Party made significant gains in the Congressional elections. As it stands, the GOP took 6 seats in the Senate and 64 seats in the House. This victory has shifted the ratio in the Republicans’ favor, giving them the House majority for the next two years. Victories parties were held nationwide (and on Fox News) as more states and districts turned Red. However, now that the victory parties have officially ended, congressional Republicans are unaware as to what they’re supposed to do. Continue reading “Republican Party: “Now what?””

Glenn Beck vs the Disney Menace

A guy by the name of Jonathan McIntosh (creator of Rebellious Pixels) put together this terrific video mashing-up Donald Duck cartoons and Glenn Beck’s radio show.
Oddly enough, Beck sounds like he’d make a great radio host in the 1950’s. His brain is certainly still living there.

This isn’t the only political remix he’s done. Be sure to check out McIntosh’s website Rebellious Pixels for some more great stuff.

Glenn Beck actually responded to he video on his radio show. But I didn’t feel like posting the straight feed, so I decided to put up another Disney mash-up featuring the audio.

Yes Glenn, The Walt Disney Company is working with the communists to take you down. Disney has a history of left-leaning sympathies. I suppose you think that Disney is also plotting to undermine our culture by building Hebrew schools everywhere.

United Nations: International Douchebag Convention

All eyes watched as the great leaders of the world descended upon the sleepy little village known to locals as Man-hatt-an for The 65th United Nations General Assembly. The event commenced on September 23, 2010 and concluded the following week. The highlight of early proceedings had been the General Debate, where presentations were given by each of the delegations from around the world. This year’s conference provided foreign dignitaries such as Pres. Barack Obama (USA), Deputy PM Nicholas Clegg (UK), and Pres. Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf (Liberia) the opportunity to give impassioned speeches calling upon all nations to cooperate in order to ensure amiable and peaceful international relations for years to come. However, the UN General Debate also offers a platform for some of the world’s most powerful assholes.
Continue reading “United Nations: International Douchebag Convention”

The Army totally wants me.

After much consideration, I have decided to join the military. I’ve decided to forgo college life for now so that I may serve my country in the best way possible. Granted, I didn’t graduate from the academies at West Point, Annapolis, or New London. Neither did I receive an MPA from Harvard or Princeton. I don’t have a single award or decoration remotely related to the military. I can’t run two miles in 13min 40 sec. I can’t do 100 sit-ups in 2 minutes. I can’t even do 68 push-ups in 2 minutes. I have absolutely no experience with any kind of advanced weaponry. I can’t survive in armed combat whatsoever. The one time I ever went paintballing, it only took a shot in the forearm to make me quit for the rest of the day. Heck, I’ve never even played Halo, Call of Duty, Counterstrike, Medal of Honor, or even Donkey Kong 64. I’m near-sighted, which I guess will probably be an issue. Plus I probably lack the firm resolve of an actual soldier. So, if anyone is concerned about my decision, they have no need to be. Due to current conditions in US military policy, all the feats and achievements that I’ve previously mentioned might just be unnecessary. Apparently, the one surefire way to stay in the military is to not be gay. That’s right, I have a better chance at serving a longer army career than the actual West Point cadet that actually ran 2 miles in 13:40, did 100 sit-ups in 2 min, and 68 push-ups in the same time. She (that’s right, she) can’t serve because she’s gay, but I’m not. So I guess I can join, right?

Nothing gay here.