The Big Dog vs The Heckler

Bill Clinton took on a heckler on the campaign trail. In 1992… which is also the year I was born…

Anyway, the man knows how to work a crowd, and he’s done it for a very long time. The way he takes the mic out and moves the mic stand just screams, “I’ve done this before, motherfucker. Get ready – ‘cuz I’m about to UNLOAD on you.” #ProMove #HashtaggingOutsideOfTwitter #BlogDouche


Campaigns are tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky…

(via esus4)

I think Bill Clinton made passionate love to America last night. As a writer-performer (Yeah– I’m well aware that I sound like an asshole), the man absolutely DESTROYED. He went into hardcore statistics and policy wonkery, and that crowd was still in the palm of his hand. 48 minutes long; I hardly notice. I think Bill Clinton Talks into a Microphone is my favorite new show.

Remember this?: “Who Made Huckabee?”

During the 2007-08 Writers Guild strike, guys like Conan O’Brien, Jon Stewart, and Stephen Colbert were left alone in the offices without much to do. Although they have writing credits on their respective shows, because of their overriding Executive Producer credits, they were still contractually obligated to make a show. They couldn’t join their writers on the picket line. So, with a crap ton of time on their hands, these guys decided to start a feud over who gave then Republican candidate Mike Huckabee a popularity boost. Colbert went to The Daily Show to plot with Stewart, only to have Conan interrupt to issue an ultimatum of ass-whoopings. Conan and Jon patiently waited for Colbert to finish his Report. This was the final encounter at the Late Night studio. 11:00, 11:30, 12:30 — It’s cross-network mayhem!

3:44 takes the cake for me. There’s nothing like three grown men, dancing around like morons.

Geraldo Rivera’s a douche. (And other thoughts.)

Geraldo’s hoodie argument is bullshit, even if he did specifically warn Black and Latino kids. A kid was murdered. Don’t blame it on the clothes he was wearing.

I had a joke about how I don’t wear hoodies to seem less threatening. (Haha! I’m not a threatening person to begin with!) Geraldo took that joke away from me. Fuckin’ asshole.

My secret love affair with Newt Gingrich

For no reason at all, here’s a picture of me with Callista Gingrich’s hair.

♪ Yeah! Uh-huh! And I will haunt your dreams. ♪

Baby look pretty now, Mama???

Deck out your own head at Buzzfeed. Hurry before Newt Gingrich finds another wife.

How I feel about Sarah Palin 90% of the time.

And who says Jon Stewart isn’t a good actor?

I’m officially one of the Colbert Nation Heroe$

I normally watch new episodes of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report when they air, but I missed two weeks since I was on vacation. As it turns out, on the August 16th episode of Colbert, I was given the greatest civilian honor of my life.

I'm on-screen with one of my heroes... and the President too.

All it took was to donate $5 to a shady political action committee. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

P.S. I just noticed that this is the first time my actual name has gone up on the blog. What a way to go!

Louic C.K.: Rummy’s a lizard.

I love Louis C.K. as much as I dislike Donald Rumsfeld.

Give this little girl a medal.

I make an effort to keep track of the news. Apparently, Egypt is almost on fire. Now, I could make a long diatribe justifying the protesters in the streets of Cairo, or maybe I could draw parallels between Egypt and Iran (or even the 13 Colonies). But I’m not going to do that. I can’t. This story’s been on every major news outlet, and every pundit, journalist, blogger, and activist has given their two-cents.

But I yield the floor, now and forever on all Middle East politics, to Juju.

Take a bow little lady, we salute you.

LBJ orders pants. (Seriously)

Put This On: LBJ Buys Pants from Put This On on Vimeo.

Yes, that was Lyndon Baines Johnson, the 36th President of the United States of America. That was LBJ ordering pants and talking about his “nuts” and his “bunghole.” (That’s good ol’ Southern charm for you!)

Why doesn’t FOX News bring this up? At least it’s a little bit implicating. But no, the only person who ever tarnished the dignity of the office was this guy:

Driving the lane... to national destruction.