I don’t think I ever got the chance to post this up  before. Something about WP not supporting GIFs. But here it is. Neymar’s a brilliant player, but he’s kind of a bitch. Unless Walter Gargano has Hulk strength, which isn’t out of the realm of possibilities.



Oh so Metro. New York wins it’s first Supporters’ Shield.

This team. This fucking team. I’ve been supporting this club since 2006, and if you told me at the beginning of this season that my New York Red Bulls would win the 2013 Supporters’ Shield, I might beat you senseless before realizing there may actually be a chance of that happening.  Though it didn’t look like it at times. Roy Miller’s late antics cost us our first road game in San Jose; Going down 3-0 away in Philly; Losing to fucking Chivas USA. The Curse of Caricola looked like looming over us yet again. But this team turned this season into something special.

In October 5 game against New England, what looked like a 1-0 victory almost became a frustrating 1-2 loss, complete with bad calls and nightmare defending.  I was in the stands for that game. After watching defeat snatched out of the jaws of victory, I let out a painful “That’s so Metro!” But it wasn’t Metro – at least that kind of Metro. Tim Cahill nodded the equalizer past the Revs at the death to salvage a result. I was 20-odd feet away from the corner flag he boxed in celebration. This was a new Metro. A Metro marked by character-revealing performances. Late game comebacks. Defensive heroics. Truly remarkable goals. And after so many player who didn’t seem to care, we finally have a group of guys willing to put in all on the field for the sake of this team. Not a groups of individuals – a team. And when it came down to the last game of the season, with our first major trophy on the line, we got the job done.

The game could’ve gone full Caricola. As if it were a Greek tragedy, former Metro Mike Magee put the early dagger in the hearts of New York faithful. But the Red Bulls came running and stomped out the Fire.

Vous nous gâtez, Monsieur Henry!

Thierry Henry – my lord, Thierry Henry – with a vintage Arsenal barnstormer of an equalizer. Then who else but “Captain Clutch” Tim Cahill to put us in front and on our way to a big boy trophy? Lloyd Sam curling in a beauty to make sure our victory wasn’t a fluke. Eric Alexander with a ruthless finish to put the game beyond all doubt. And Jonny Steele on the end of an Henry cross to complete the rout. Dax McCarty and Man-of-the-Match Peguy Luyindula put on an imperious display in the midfield, the latter racking up 3 assists on the night. Robles coming up huge when Chicago put the pressure on. And plaudits the rest of the team, who did their work in outplaying the Fire in every aspect of the game.

And Mike Petke. What else can I say about Mike Petke? If it wasn’t for Caleb Porter’s stunning work in Portland, my man Petke would make this year’s Manager of the Year voting a no-brainer. The New York native and longtime Metro, who got the reins of the team just 3 seasons after retiring from the game, deserves every accolade for this season’s success.

Thank you, Mike Petke. You did what no other manager could do at this club. You brought this squad together. You brought this team together with its supporters.  You got rid of the team’s dead weight during the season! Were you the most illustrious choice for manager? No. Were you the right choice? Absolutely. In Petke We Trust. Vamos Red Bulls! Let’s go for that MLS Cup, ‘cuz now they’ll give it to us on our front porch.

That’s longtime kitman Fernando Ruiz & his son lifting the Shield. We are one team.

We’re going to Brazil.

(via US Soccer)

Beating Mexico in a good ol’ DOS A CERO in Columbus, and with Honduras drawing 2-2 against Panama, the USA have officially booked a ticket to Brazil and qualified for the 2014 FIFA World Cup.  I’m so fuckin’ proud of this team. They’ve shown they can play good football. They’ve shown grit. They’ve proven they deserve to go to the big show next summer. All that’s left is 2 more qualifiers to hopefully wrap up the top spot in the Hex. USA ain’t nothin’ to fuck with.


Mexico. Not looking good in 5th place in the hex.  I’d feel sorry for their downward spiral since last year, but WE’RE GOING TO BRAZIL!






No Klinsmann, no problem. USA 1-0 Panama.

I watched the Gold Cup final two years ago. IT WASN’T FUN.

But this year, with a new coach, and a new team, not much changed — EXCEPT A TROPHY.

And what a way to win the Gold Cup. Albeit the 1-0 final, the USMNT tore through this tournament: 6-1, 4-1, 1-0, 5-1, 3-1. Considering that this was essentially Jürgen Klinsmann’s “B-Team,” it’s all the more impressive. Going into World Cup Qualifying with four games left, the squad looks much deeper than it did back in February. Just about every position on the field has a guy challenging for it, and here are a few guys I can see booking a ticket to Brasil:

  • Mix Diskerud: Cap-tied himself to the USA for life. Proved an invaluable member to this squad. Moved from fringe player to challenging a guy like Sacha Kljestan for a spot (not a bad problem to have.) More luscious Norwegian locks!
  • Stu Holden: He returns! Hopefully he comes back from what looked like a pretty bad knock to the knee in the final. If anyone can do it, it’s Super Stu.
  • Michael Parkhurst: It’s not impossible. He was a capable right back when he had proper reinforcement ahead of him. Book him a ticket if either Cherundolo or Timmy Chandler spontaneously combust.
  • Nick Rimando: GK #3. Can’t see Sean Johnson (and especially not Bill Hamid) taking that spot. Mando will add some hair to our ‘keeper team in Brasil.
  • Kyle Beckerman: He’s not the best player, but he did the job. I’m inclined to include mostly because of the leadership he brings as a club captain. Plus, the dreads might be confusing to the opposition.
  • Joe Corona, José Torres Torres, Alejandro Bedoya: It feels like I’m splitting hairs trying to choose. Fight it out, you guys.
  • Brek Shea: Don’t start him never seems to work out. But subbing him? That’s a way to go. Against Mexico, against Costa Rica, and against Panama. And taking a page from the Beckerman playbook, the space unicorn haircuts will be disorienting.
  • Clarence Goodson: Cameron, Gonzalez, and Besler all look likely to go. Not so likely for Onyewu and Michael Orosco Fiscal. Goodson gives us depth and experience.
  • Landon Donovan: Just kidding. Was there ever a doubt?

Danke für die neue Trophäe, Klinsi. Let’s get some more.


Look at all that freedom!
Look at all that freedom!


It was cool for a bit. Most of us wore one. Around 80 million of them were sold, ‘cuz you know, cancer. At least he didn’t lie about the cancer. But if Lance did, I think we can all agree that his nuts are fair game – the most dangerous game.