@nerdwich: soldier of the Hashtag Wars

@Midnight got renewed for another season. And while it was here, I got to write so many shitty jokes in the Hashtag Wars. So I’m gonna put them here.

Nov 15 – #BoringVideoGames

• Street Writer
• FIFA 1938
• Super Smashmouth Brawl
• Forza Motor Scooters
• Kate Mara Damacy
• Cooking Obama
• Docile Birds
• Need for Creed
• Grand Theft Otto von Bismarck
• Postal Service Simulator
• Tony Hawk’s Pro Caterer
• Duck Punt
• Professional Surgeon 3
• Metal Gear Repair
• Mario Political Party
• Pokémon Stadium Tours
• Words with Acquaintances
• Grand Theft Tonight Show: Los Angeles
• Where in the World is San Diego?
• Walk-A-Thon 2K14
• San Andreas Police Department
• Legend of Zelda Fitzgerald
• Luigi’s Studio Apartment
• Guitar Center Hero

Nov 14 – #OlderMusicians

• They Might Be Giant Prostates
• Old Man Halen
• Alice Complains
• The Grey Stripes
• Geezer
• Vampire Weekend Visit to the Nursing Home
• We Are The Fallen And We Can’t Get Up
• Former Survivor
• Julian Casablancas and his Strokes
• Robert Dylan
• The Shinsplints
• Prime Minister Justin  Bieber
• Rage Against The Kids on My Lawn
• Limited Motion City Soundtrack
• Rabbi Leonard Kravitz
• Lauryn Over the Hill
• Nirviagra
• My Urologist’s Goldfinger
• Fine Old Cannibals
• Mature Gambino
• Dinosaur Sr.
• Euthanize the Elephant
• Bad Veins Due to Cholesterol
• AnOldManaguchi
• Daft Respected Member of the Community
• A Retirement Home Called Quest

Nov 13 – #RuinAWebsite

• Spitslider
• Miniclit
• vietNAMBLA.vn
• Craigslisp
• Nutflicks
• OKKKCupid
• BlackPeopleMeat
• Jizzebel
• Pandoratheexplorer.com
• Grammazon
• EminemSNBC
• TheButtPirateBay
• StinkGeek
• BreadTube
• MichaelJFoxNews.com
• WorldStarJazzFusion.com
• barackobama.tumblr.com
• Geztappos.com
• healthcare.geocities.com
• AVDclub

Nov 12 – #SuckyActionMovies

• The Mehtrix
• Freddy vs Jason Schwartzman
• Evil Bread
• The Slow and Fairly Well-Adjusted
• Tyler Perry’s House of Flying Daggers
• The Dark Knight Does His Taxes
• Reservoir LOLCats
• Pain OR Gain
• The Chronicles of Andydick
• Staredevil
• The Beer Hunter
• Pie Another Day
• The Oakland Raiders of the Lost Ark
• Ghost Rider 3: The Nicolas Cage Story
• James Buchanan: Vampire Hunter

Nov 7 – #FailedBusinesses

• Negro Barrel
• Burger President
• Paula Deen’s National Association for the Advancement of Collard Greens
• National Basket Association
• SomeState Insurance
• The Sharter Image
• Russel Brandsmart USA
• The Just Apples Store
• $99 Store

Nov 6 – Crappy Rappers

• Push It Outkast
• The Toots
• Chuck Doo-D
• KRS Fiber One
• Piyoo-Tip
• Phife Log
• Shitsta Rhymes
• Aivitca (It’s a Tribe Called Quest joke)
• MC Mr. Toilet Paper
• Fred Turdst
• The Dude from Smash Mouth
• “If it’s yellow, it’s mellow. If it’s Chris Brown, flush it down.”
• Squeezy E
• Dr. Drano
• Missy Toiliett

Nov 1 – #RejectedCandy

• Shittles
• S&Ms
• Feces Peanut Buter Cup
• Sour Patch Adams
• Temporary Gobstoppers
• Cutterfinger
• *unts
• Actual Swedish Fish
• Sour Patch Tweens
• Sn*ggers
• Baby Ruth Bader Ginsburg
• Cadbury Fertilized Eggs
• Kit Kat Williams
• Jew-ey Fruit
• KKKandy KKKanes
• Gummy Razor Blades
• Lolli-ta Pops
• SARS Bar
• Twinx
• Mr. Meh-Bar
• Scarbursts
• Now & Seriously You Can’t Eat Another for Another Two Hours
• Milk Puds
• Chris Brown M&Ms
• Gadaffi Taffi
• BAD & NEVER ENOUGH!
• Indian Mounds
• Pepperspray Patty
• RacistNets

Oct 25 – #BadCereals

• Baby Butter Cap’n Crunch
• Rice KKKrispies

Oct 24 – #FatTVShows

• Bob’s Burgers & Fries & Shakes & Chicken Nuggets & Onion Rings & Apple Pies & Diet Colas
• Buffalo West Wing
• Open Late at Night-court
• The New NOMal
• Diabetes: All in the Family
• Serving Spoons
• American Idle
• Tacoing Dead
• Big BONES
• Superfatural
• 16 & … Looks Pregnant?
• Miami Vice Cream!
• Magnum P.IHOP.

Oct 23 – #SluttyMusicals

• Big Fist
• Assing Strange
• Guys & Real Dolls
• [Debbie does] Memphis
• RAMALOT
• The Book of Pornon
• Once [Twice, Three Times]
• How To Succeed in Buttsex Without Really Trying
• Man of La Muncher
• 17769
• Twinky Boots
• Sweeney Rod
• 42nd Skeet
• Rent Boy
• Phantom of the Orifice
• La Coq aux Folles
• Passion HD
• In the Hinds
• Sisters Act
• Gagtime
• Miss SaigOn Her Back
• Five Guys Named Moe (Which is the actual name.)
• City of Anals
• Redhead