@nerdwich: soldier of the Hashtag Wars

@Midnight got renewed for another season. And while it was here, I got to write so many shitty jokes in the Hashtag Wars. So I’m gonna put them here.

Nov 15 – #BoringVideoGames

  • Street Writer
  • FIFA 1938
  • Super Smashmouth Brawl
  • Forza Motor Scooters
  • Kate Mara Damacy
  • Cooking Obama
  • Docile Birds
  • Need for Creed
  • Grand Theft Otto von Bismarck
  • Postal Service Simulator
  • Tony Hawk’s Pro Caterer
  • Duck Punt
  • Professional Surgeon 3
  • Metal Gear Repair
  • Mario Political Party
  • Pokémon Stadium Tours
  • Words with Acquaintances
  • Grand Theft Tonight Show: Los Angeles
  • Where in the World is San Diego?
  • Walk-A-Thon 2K14
  • San Andreas Police Department
  • Legend of Zelda Fitzgerald
  • Luigi’s Studio Apartment
  • Guitar Center Hero

Nov 14 – #OlderMusicians

  • They Might Be Giant Prostates
  • Old Man Halen
  • Alice Complains
  • The Grey Stripes
  • Geezer
  • Vampire Weekend Visit to the Nursing Home
  • We Are The Fallen And We Can’t Get Up
  • Former Survivor
  • Julian Casablancas and his Strokes
  • Robert Dylan
  • The Shinsplints
  • Prime Minister Justin  Bieber
  • Rage Against The Kids on My Lawn
  • Limited Motion City Soundtrack
  • Rabbi Leonard Kravitz
  • Lauryn Over the Hill
  • Nirviagra
  • My Urologist’s Goldfinger
  • Fine Old Cannibals
  • Mature Gambino
  • Dinosaur Sr.
  • Euthanize the Elephant
  • Bad Veins Due to Cholesterol
  • AnOldManaguchi
  • Daft Respected Member of the Community
  • A Retirement Home Called Quest

Nov 13 – #RuinAWebsite

  • Spitslider
  • Miniclit
  • vietNAMBLA.vn
  • Craigslisp
  • Nutflicks
  • OKKKCupid
  • BlackPeopleMeat
  • Jizzebel
  • Pandoratheexplorer.com
  • Grammazon
  • EminemSNBC
  • TheButtPirateBay
  • StinkGeek
  • BreadTube
  • MichaelJFoxNews.com
  • WorldStarJazzFusion.com
  • barackobama.tumblr.com
  • Geztappos.com
  • healthcare.geocities.com
  • AVDclub

Nov 12 – #SuckyActionMovies

  • The Mehtrix
  • Freddy vs Jason Schwartzman
  • Evil Bread
  • The Slow and Fairly Well-Adjusted
  • Tyler Perry’s House of Flying Daggers
  • The Dark Knight Does His Taxes
  • Reservoir LOLCats
  • Pain OR Gain
  • The Chronicles of Andydick
  • Staredevil
  • The Beer Hunter
  • Pie Another Day
  • The Oakland Raiders of the Lost Ark
  • Ghost Rider 3: The Nicolas Cage Story
  • James Buchanan: Vampire Hunter

Nov 7 – #FailedBusinesses

  • Negro Barrel
  • Burger President
  • Paula Deen’s National Association for the Advancement of Collard Greens
  • National Basket Association
  • SomeState Insurance
  • The Sharter Image
  • Russel Brandsmart USA
  • The Just Apples Store
  • $99 Store

Nov 6 – Crappy Rappers

  • Push It Outkast
  • The Toots
  • Chuck Doo-D
  • KRS Fiber One
  • Piyoo-Tip
  • Phife Log
  • Shitsta Rhymes
  • Aivitca (It’s a Tribe Called Quest joke)
  • MC Mr. Toilet Paper
  • Fred Turdst
  • The Dude from Smash Mouth
  • “If it’s yellow, it’s mellow. If it’s Chris Brown, flush it down.”
  • Squeezy E
  • Dr. Drano
  • Missy Toiliett

Nov 1 – #RejectedCandy

  • Shittles
  • S&Ms
  • Feces Peanut Buter Cup
  • Sour Patch Adams
  • Temporary Gobstoppers
  • Cutterfinger
  • *unts
  • Actual Swedish Fish
  • Sour Patch Tweens
  • Sn*ggers
  • Baby Ruth Bader Ginsburg
  • Cadbury Fertilized Eggs
  • Kit Kat Williams
  • Jew-ey Fruit
  • KKKandy KKKanes
  • Gummy Razor Blades
  • Lolli-ta Pops
  • SARS Bar
  • Twinx
  • Mr. Meh-Bar
  • Scarbursts
  • Now & Seriously You Can’t Eat Another for Another Two Hours
  • Milk Puds
  • Chris Brown M&Ms
  • Gadaffi Taffi
  • BAD & NEVER ENOUGH!
  • Indian Mounds
  • Pepperspray Patty
  • RacistNets

Oct 25 – #BadCereals

  • Baby Butter Cap’n Crunch
  • Rice KKKrispies

Oct 24 – #FatTVShows

  • Bob’s Burgers & Fries & Shakes & Chicken Nuggets & Onion Rings & Apple Pies & Diet Colas
  • Buffalo West Wing
  • Open Late at Night-court
  • The New NOMal
  • Diabetes: All in the Family
  • Serving Spoons
  • American Idle
  • Tacoing Dead
  • Big BONES
  • Superfatural
  • 16 & … Looks Pregnant?
  • Miami Vice Cream!
  • Magnum P.IHOP.

Oct 23 – #SluttyMusicals

  • Big Fist
  • Assing Strange
  • Guys & Real Dolls
  • [Debbie does] Memphis
  • RAMALOT
  • The Book of Pornon
  • Once [Twice, Three Times]
  • How To Succeed in Buttsex Without Really Trying
  • Man of La Muncher
  • 17769
  • Twinky Boots
  • Sweeney Rod
  • 42nd Skeet
  • Rent Boy
  • Phantom of the Orifice
  • La Coq aux Folles
  • Passion HD
  • In the Hinds
  • Sisters Act
  • Gagtime
  • Miss SaigOn Her Back
  • Five Guys Named Moe (Which is the actual name.)
  • City of Anals
  • Redhead
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