“John Oliver is funny. John Oliver is smart. John Oliver is telegenic. John Oliver has a mischievous twinkle made twinklier by his Liverpudlian lilt and dimples that you could eat clotted cream out of. John Oliver has an inquisitive and agile intellect yet is still humble and disarming. John Oliver smells like kittens eating ice cream. I wish I had known all this before letting John Oliver host The Daily Show all summer. Fuck that guy.” – Jon “Jonny Stewbeef” Stewart

GQ named John Oliver as one of its Men of the Year, so that got his boss to do a writeup on him. One day, I want a boss who’ll write, “Fuck that guy” in a thing about me. Jokingly, of course. Although I’m kind of expecting someone to say it un-jokingly.

(The link, in case you wanna see John Oliver in a suit.)

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@nerdwich: soldier of the Hashtag Wars

@Midnight got renewed for another season. And while it was here, I got to write so many shitty jokes in the Hashtag Wars. So I’m gonna put them here.

Nov 15 – #BoringVideoGames

  • Street Writer
  • FIFA 1938
  • Super Smashmouth Brawl
  • Forza Motor Scooters
  • Kate Mara Damacy
  • Cooking Obama
  • Docile Birds
  • Need for Creed
  • Grand Theft Otto von Bismarck
  • Postal Service Simulator
  • Tony Hawk’s Pro Caterer
  • Duck Punt
  • Professional Surgeon 3
  • Metal Gear Repair
  • Mario Political Party
  • Pok√©mon Stadium Tours
  • Words with Acquaintances
  • Grand Theft Tonight Show: Los Angeles
  • Where in the World is San Diego?
  • Walk-A-Thon 2K14
  • San Andreas Police Department
  • Legend of Zelda Fitzgerald
  • Luigi’s Studio Apartment
  • Guitar Center Hero

Nov 14 – #OlderMusicians

credit: atmidnightcc.tumblr.com

A week ago, one of my tweets made the Top 10 for @Midnight‘s #RejectedCandy hashtag wars! Hooray! @Midnight¬†even followed me on Twitter (although maybe out of pity).