Adventures of an Italian Plumber

My good personal friend, Luigi, decided to move out of Brooklyn, so he’s been living with me in Manhattan. He got really excited about the blog, and he wanted to write a post. What was I going to do? He asked really politely.

Hey! It’s-a-me Luigi! I’ve been staying at a-my buddy’s apartment since December. You know, I a-wanted to try something new. Get a feel for life in the big-a city!

So the other night I was a-hangin’ out at one of my favorite spots. I don’t know where it is exactly, but hey, that’s-a New York City. [Ed. That’s not how New York City is, most of us know where we are. The city’s set up on a grid, it’s not that hard to walk around.]

One thing I thought was a-weird though, was that-a my friends were acting a little strange. Check out a few pics I a-took from that night.

Someone must’ve slipped something in-a my drink, ‘cuz Yoshi looked a-freaky! [Ed. We never had any drinks. We were at a Barnes & Noble.]

He's usually a-much easier to mount.

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Give this little girl a medal.

I make an effort to keep track of the news. Apparently, Egypt is almost on fire. Now, I could make a long diatribe justifying the protesters in the streets of Cairo, or maybe I could draw parallels between Egypt and Iran (or even the 13 Colonies). But I’m not going to do that. I can’t. This story’s been on every major news outlet, and every pundit, journalist, blogger, and activist has given their two-cents.

But I yield the floor, now and forever on all Middle East politics, to Juju.

Take a bow little lady, we salute you.

LBJ orders pants. (Seriously)

Put This On: LBJ Buys Pants from Put This On on Vimeo.

Yes, that was Lyndon Baines Johnson, the 36th President of the United States of America. That was LBJ ordering pants and talking about his “nuts” and his “bunghole.” (That’s good ol’ Southern charm for you!)

Why doesn’t FOX News bring this up? At least it’s a little bit implicating. But no, the only person who ever tarnished the dignity of the office was this guy:

Driving the lane... to national destruction.

Nerdgasm Warning!

If Edgar Wright doesn’t make this movie, I will.