TIME names the Douche of the Year

Earlier this month, TIME magazine named Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg the 2010 Person of the Year. To close out the year in the spirit of naming the “[insert name] of the Year”, TIME has released a special edition copy today, December 31, 2010.

“We are proud to announce that we have picked TIME’s very first ‘Douche of the Year’,” said managing editor Richard Stengel, “and that douche… is YOU.”

Get an exclusive look at the cover after the jump.

Get a copy today (you turdwagon)!

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I forgot to ask for this…

Is it too early to ask for next year’s Christmas presents?

To take me down a peg.

I haven’t hinted at it before, but I’m quite the soccer nerd. Not that good of a player, but I know stats and scores like the best of them.

Anyway, I noticed that in 4 year’s time, I’ve become a fairly capable player. Technically sound, comfortable on the ball, confident enough to finish a play. In light of my apparent improvement, I decided to reward myself with a new pair of cleats.

Cheap and classy... just like me!

Unfortunately, I now feel inadequate from watching this video.

The future Albicelestor in the video is Benjamín Agüero, son of Atlético Madrid striker Sergio Agüero. He also happens to be football legend Diego Maradona’s grandson — talent seems to be hereditary.

So no matter how much I practice, I’ll never be better than this little boy. Did I mention that he’s turning 2 years old in February? Learn to use your other foot, little man, then you’ll one-up your grandpa.

Great Portrait, or the Greatest Portrait

A very silly math problem.

I’ve never been fan of Math. I respect its perfection, but it’s still a huge pain in the ass. From time to time, though, math has given me some amusement. That imaginary number i was a real hoot!

So I’m working on homework from my math course, which is currently focusing on logic problems, and I stumble upon this set of exercises stipulating:

Let b represent the statement “I’m getting better” and d represent the statement “My parrot is dead.” Translate each symbolic statements into words.

Not one, but two Monty Python references. The math community has some pretty cool nerds out there

For those who didn’t know, “I’m getting better” comes from Monty Python and The Holy Grail.

And “My parrot is dead” pays homage to the wonderfully silly Dead Parrot Sketch

I tip my hat to the writers and editors over at Pearson Education Inc. for being complete and utter loonies.